Not really what you want to hear when you've just got £350 cash out of the bank to pay your loving childminder and she's foaming at the mouth when you arrive (early) for once to collect the little darlings.

She's been banging on for weeks now about the travesty that is us moving away and how this disrupts her career/cashflow/wasn't listening. I have given her, um, 5 months notice not the required 4 weeks and kept her totally up to speed on every single detail of what's going on...but still...she's irritated.

So far I've been placatoryish

'Angela - we will miss you terribly but we can't stay living somewhere we don't like' etc etc blah blah

But tonight I nearly lost it.

I had the warm notes in my hand as I rang the bell

'Julia. I am going to tell you what they did today'

Here we go I thought, last time she took time to do this they took the opportunity to have a piss in her hedge so I try to get them in the car as fast as I can.

'I had prospective parents around today, you know, because you are LEAVING and I need to get more work'

'Yes'

'And your sons put on such a show of naughtiness that I almost cried'

'What did they do?'

'What didn't they do? Threw things, shouted, ran round, wrestled, you name it'

'Oh no, heavens, sounds like they were behaving like 6 and 3 yr old boys!'

'I like to make a good impression - those parents won't be back'

OK so it's my fault clearly - now I was annoyed.

'Angela, in the daytime, your daytime I pay for, I think maybe you should focus on the kids and not trying to have a show house for prospective parents. Maybe they could come round in the evening when it's your free unpaid time? I wouldn't get a new employer to visit me while I was being paid and at work with my current one'

'Hmm. Well I can't believe how bad they were - outrageous. And Charlie just gets Henry to go along with it'

'Yes - they do that - I think it's because they're related'

The boys appeared, sheepishly, and I demanded to know why they'd been so bad

'Because Mummy we were so bored. Had to keep everything tidy, couldn't play, in the end it got too much didn't it Henry?'

'Oh yes' said Henry sagely looking at the floor 'too much'

I did punish them - no spiderman tattoos on the way home, but I think the moment Angela thought my sons might in any way help her childminding beauty parade was the moment she should have perhaps alsohave considered inviting some untamed wildebeest round to assist.

Not that I think naughtiness is a good thing - or childminding for that matter - why do you think I go to work?