It's all a bit baby centric in my life currently - I have 3 pregnant colleagues and a newborn niece. So I feel a bit like an aging expert on all matters maternal and was absurdly pleased to have remembered how to burp and settle a two week old baby at the weekend and then smugly declare it might be time for a little glass of something while the 'owners' fretted about whatever it is you fret about with something the size of a galia melon that's sleeping anyway.

And that's the thing - you can't bloody well remember! Truly - I cannot remember my sons as babies. Yes I recall the tiredness and the exhaustion and in my case the whole 'will they ever leave hospital' but the day to day daily stuff you forget.....no you do...

'Did yours feed every 4 hours?'

'ermmmm'

'Did they like a bath?'

'Err...'

'Did they settle themselves or was it a case of holding them all the time?

'hmmmm'

The plain fact is that after your brain's been addled by 2 kids in 3 years you can't remember jackcrap about anything much. Yes I know I fell in love with my newborns. Yes I am pretty certain they did the eye following thing that tells you they're einstein and yes they probably did support their heads really well and were probably described as 'very alert'

(I'd be alert if someone was constantly tampering with a nappy on my undercarriage but there you are)

i just don't remember the details ok? Yes they're adorable yes I love them but actually the love is very much in the present tense. i remember hoping my first baby would never walk or talk - not in a sick way but because he was just so squidgy and gorgeous that I never wanted his pudgy legs and feet to need anything more than a nibble and a tickle (not rugby boots like now) and then suddenly I can't imagine not having a little tag rugby scruff who loves his Mum and xbox equally.

Amnesia - all parents have it.

Sorry who are you?